Dentistry and the Standard of Snark
There are a few things that separate dentistry from the larger medical profession…. the schooling, the (smaller) bills, the prolific jokes…. But from the limited breadth of my medical experience, the largest difference is the condescension and belittlement. I recently went in for a cleaning…
Things start off well. Niceties. How have you been? How’s everything? What do you do again? Lawyer? Circus clown? Professional spelunker? With at least 6 months between visits, conversation is comfortably vague.
But alas, the dental discourse quickly devolves into accusative questioning…. a heartbreakingly familiar dialogue that went something like this:
Hygienist: So, how often do you brush?
Stephen: Twice a day…
H: Oh really? What kind of brush do you use?
S: Hmmm… one for teeth….as opposed to toilets….?
H: Let me show you the proper way becuase….And do you floss?
S: Once a day
H: Uhuh (insert cringe-worthy skepticism here). Brush after meals, never before
S: I do
*Now drops the curtain of awkward silence* The dental visit has (un)officially become adversarial
She doesn’t believe me. Not a chance. Like the police officer that asks, “is there a reason you were speeding?” It may be routine, but I suspect that chronicling great answers (”lies”) is a job perk.
I’m not sure why, but dentists have an intrusive and almost despotic right that other medical professionals do not. I take very reasonable care of my pearly whites, and almost always suffer vague chastisement at my 6 month check up.
March 28th, 2008 at 2:11 am
Sounds like your dental hygenist IS the problem, not the profession.
April 1st, 2008 at 8:56 am
I was in for a routine dentist’s visit the other week and after a very similar dialagoue the hygentist tried to sell me an electric tooth brush. Cross-selling in the dentist’s office….
April 1st, 2008 at 11:43 am
A dentist punched me in the mouth once.
April 5th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
There’s lots of dentists that could be more tactful. Maybe you should ask around and find a friend with a dentist they enjoy seeing.
April 8th, 2008 at 12:25 am
I’m a dentist myself, but I have noticed this behavior of many hygienists & dentists in my profession. I’m not saying a lot of professionals do this, but many of them feel its their responsibility to teach others how to brush their teeth correctly - to a fault. But in the end, you can always find a dentist that doesn’t berate you.
April 8th, 2008 at 5:24 am
I lie to my dentist as well. But the other way around.
“How often do you brush?”
“every now and then… maybe… a few times a month or so. when it starts to ache or when I get something stuck. or when I have a date coming up.”
“Oh.”
If the conversation ever goes beyond that it’s usually to say “you have surprisingly good teeth.. but you should brush more often.”
Yeah sure, and I probably shouldn’t eat cats either, right?
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